I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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