Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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