I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize