I can text with my tongue
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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