just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize