big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize