i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize