Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
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She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
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I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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