I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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