If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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