My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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