I could have mohawked her pubes.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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