He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize