how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
