had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize