We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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