Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
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I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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