He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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