Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
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I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
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First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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