it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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