she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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