oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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