he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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