it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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