when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
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The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
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In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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