Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize