So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize