just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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