dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
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just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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