i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
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I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
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I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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