That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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