i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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