Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
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What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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