i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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