Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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