Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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