I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize