Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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