Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
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All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
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how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
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