Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
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I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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