the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize