You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize