I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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