That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize