i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
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John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
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Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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