We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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