What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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