i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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