Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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