Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize